Be Kind, on Purpose…to Yourself
Be Kind, on Purpose…to Yourself
A challenge I hear often is, “Go out and be kind on purpose.” My husband says this phrase when closing his Monday morning Facebook Live prayer time.
It’s a wonderful reminder to start the week. Yet, in being kind to others, we forget to be kind to ourselves.
Being kind to yourself can mean getting a pedicure, massage, or indulging in a nice steak dinner.
But being kind can also mean listening to our instinct as we make decisions that may impact our mental and emotional well-being.
Listening to our instinct or gut is an act of resistance. It often goes against what society or our inner circle thinks we should do. This act is being kind to ourselves.
One occasion I witnessed a woman decline an invitation to speak at a black history event. The audience was majority white. Although it was an honor to be invited, the woman received these invitations during January or February, Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, or Black History Month. The depth of her expertise was in more than blackness. Although the invitations were harmless, to accept didn’t feel like the right move. So, the woman gracefully declined the invitation and exhaled.
This woman chose to be kind to herself.
A few years ago, I was faced with a tough decision; go right or left. Some around me wanted me to go right because, “it seemed the right thing to do.” After a time of prayer, I went left. It wasn’t an easy decision, but it was the right one. I knew going right would result in broken relationships, pain, and long-term resentment.
I chose to be kind to myself.
In February 2020, I started a new position in communications at work. In March, Governor DeWine issued a Stay at Home Order for Ohio. While working virtually from home, my job responsibilities doubled as I worked with my team to resource church leaders on ways to remain connected to congregations when public worship ceased.
My social media feed was filled with posts from friends starting home improvement projects, new hobbies and businesses. I tried to start something new, but I didn’t have the energy to follow through. How could I? As I continued to work, life happened: my mother-in law died, we moved residences and my fear of contracting the virus along with distance from family effected my mental and emotional health.
As I began to recognize what was happening, I paused and got help. Through therapy, I allowed myself grieve the loss of my mother- in- law, grieve the loss of a house I loved, I let go of starting new projects, and lived each day as it came.
I was being kind to myself.
Acts of kindness like these may be a challenge for some. It goes against everything society has convinced us to do, to please everyone before ourselves. Being kind to ourselves is a healthy act of resistance to this societal norm.
Be Kind, on purpose…to yourself.
