In November I celebrated 53 trips around the sun. I can’t believe it! I can still remember my 22nd birthday and the United Colors of Benneton skirt I wore to the club. (HOT!)

This year, I celebrated throughout the month with good food, drinks, and laughs. Along with celebrating my birthday this year, I also celebrated starting a new chapter in South Carolina.

This year, I learned the gift of presence is a wonderful gift. What do I mean by that? With all the cards, presents and gift cards I received, the time spent celebrating with family and friends topped it all.

I was hoping this day would be the perfect autumn to enjoy my last few weeks in Columbus before moving to a place that may not display fall the same way. I was anxious. “I want autumn vibes and I want it now”, I thought.

This chapter of my life with friends was closing. I feared the change in this relationship and others I had created. I didn’t want them to become lame social media connections.

I wasn’t ashamed of my emotions; it meant I had developed meaningful bonds with people I had connected with since moving here in 2015. I had met women and men who saw me for who I was and not who I was married to.

A few weeks ago, I was introduced to the Daily Examen while attending a worship service. The service focused on prayer, silence, and the Daily Examen, a five-step process to awaken our awareness of God in our lives while reflecting on the last 24 hours.

On March 24, my brain began to create a plan of transition and I wrote down all pros and cons for me to look at and consider. While absorbing the lists, a signal was sent to my brain to create a timeline. That plan also included the possibility of my husband and I living separately for six months.

When I grew up, we had dinner together around the dining room table. In the kitchen, my mother was the primary cook of all the meals.

There were times me or my sister had to get dinner started if we arrived home before our mother. I made many mistakes, but they were never criticized at the table. But we all knew when it was bad; like the time I fried the chicken too fast.

When I walked into the Women’s Sewing Center in Kamina, Democratic Republic of the Congo, the smell of the fabric, the smiles on the beautiful brown faces and black sewing machines told me my mother was present.

This center trains young women to become entrepreneurs as tailors. It is one of the ministries of the United Methodist Church.

When I looked at myself, I was unrecognizable and that unsettled me. I was going to call the stylist and have my hair cut shorter, but I waited. Twenty-four hours and many YouTube videos later, I fell in love with my hair and received compliments beyond what I had expected.

I walked into my local grocery store and was greeted by a display of beautiful flowers. “I don’t recall seeing those here before,” I thought as I shared my admiration of the bouquets with another shopper.

I continued to shop for the few items I needed and remembered one item not on my list. Making my way to get that item, I heard someone say, “There are a lot of Mother’s Day cards this year!” I stopped in my tracks; frozen. A well of emotions made its way from my heart and begged to be released in a surge of tears along with a loud scream. “You better not lose your shit now!!” said my reasonable self.

A few weekends ago, I returned to my home church to participate in a pop-up shop. The event was a vendor show celebrating Mother’s Day hosted by the church’s United Women in Faith unit. It has been a tradition for this event to happen once or twice a year.

I was invited to have a space to display and sell my aprons. I was happy to do so. For months I had been sewing many aprons with the fabric I had on hand. So, I didn’t have much to do to get ready, but to show up in Cincinnati.

I love the rain. I always have.

I love to listen as rain falls against the leaves on trees and trickles down its branches.

I love road trips! I enjoy traveling to a destination in a car or truck, especially with my husband.

On our first road trip together, I thought I had hit the jackpot. I had always wanted a partner to travel with but had never met that person until Curnell. He was chill. He read the road signs and mile markers, he knew how long it would take to get from place to place, he didn’t require a lot, and was happy to let me drive when I wanted to

WOW! A recent blog entry from Gwen Henderson’s Reboot, Rejuvenate, Resurrect titled Inconvenient hit my heart. It summed up exactly what I am feeling. One line in particular:

Deepak Chopra says, “All great changes are preceded by chaos.” I don’t know if this change will be great, but it is chaotic. My apple cart is upset. I feel a bit vulnerable and exposed.

Yes! I was feeling all of that. I read the line as I sat waiting for a flight returning home from South Carolina where my husband accepted a pastoral appointment to begin July 1; months away!

Recently, my husband shared an article from a friend who lived in Atlanta with the headline, “Within 12 hours, 14 young people were harmed by gun violence in Georgia.”

It’s hard to settle with the statistics related to the impact of gun violence in the United States. Each day, there is a report of the shooting in the local news. It saddens me that freedom looks like the right to carry an automatic weapon.

This article prompted a question: How can we cease to find a way to curb gun violence but continue to be riled up against a curriculum in schools that shares all American history?

Through life, our instinct is to keep our head down, stay focused on our goals and keep working to be the best we can be for ourselves and family. Yet, I bet while we are looking down, we are missing people standing in front of us seeking a kind word of encouragement in this harsh world that makes it hard for some to keep going. We all have an encouraging word to share.