Change is happening and it is not convenient
Change is happening and it is not convenient
WOW! A recent blog entry from Gwen Henderson’s Reboot, Rejuvenate, Resurrect titled Inconvenient hit my heart. It summed up exactly what I am feeling. One line in particular:
Deepak Chopra says, “All great changes are preceded by chaos.” I don’t know if this change will be great, but it is chaotic. My apple cart is upset. I feel a bit vulnerable and exposed.
Yes! I was feeling all of that. I read the line as I sat waiting for a flight returning home from South Carolina where my husband accepted a pastoral appointment to begin July 1; months away! So yes, I was feeling her blog because change was happening to me and it is NOT convenient. My apple cart WAS upset, and I DID feel vulnerable. My life schedule was in place for the next few months and I didn’t need a move to a new state thrown in the mix.
The itineracy of pastors of the United Methodist Church is the backbone of the Methodism and is centuries old. The itineracy has its schedule and it moves quickly – to me anyway.
For any clergy spouse, the high point of this role is not packing to move. Although it can be exciting to live in a new city, packing on someone else’s timeframe creates stress and pressure.
So here I am. Preparing to move south to a new appointment. Everything seems too fast. However, the time is here none the less.
Some days I hear myself reciting one of the many sayings that have become a part of the vernacular of the American culture: Change is certain. The measure of intelligence is the ability to change. or One constant in life is change. Repeating these helps me get centered in the chaos. But reciting, give me this day, my daily bread from The Lord’s Prayer reminds me of God’s presence as I figure out what it looks like to live in obedience to Him as a clergy spouse and an individual with her own gifts and talents.
The chaos is real, yet I’ve been here before. I can’t see what is on the other side now, yet my past journal entries remind me of the great things that wait for me when the smoke settles. New relationships, learning new skills, or expansion of my current gifts, are all possibilities after the chaos of moving.
I am grateful to retired and serving clergy spouses who walk beside me and understand me and this situation without all the explanation. To cope in this season, I may cry, write, scream, laugh, and maybe overindulge in food and drink. But I will take one day at a time and trust the process.
Whatever the change is, moving to a new city, losing a parent, or getting a divorce, change moves us from comfort to discomfort. Oftentimes, it is inconvenient. But, if we hold on and are flexible, we may learn something about ourselves through the process and experience life as God intended.
