Autumn Change

Autumn Change

As I was driving around Columbus in early October, I was less than impressed with the fall foliage.

By now, I was hoping to succumb to the wooing of the bright red, yellow and orange leaves swaying to the breeze on their branches. I looked forward to hearing the crunching of the leaves under my feet while I walked in the neighborhood and smelling the scent, they released from each step.

The beauty of fall always flirts with me to pursue all the wonders the season has to offer; events, outdoor activities and let’s not forget the special menus at restaurants that showcase options the season harvest offers.

Yet in this moment, I was not turned on.

I was hoping this day would be the perfect autumn to enjoy my last few weeks in Columbus before moving to a place that may not display fall the same way. I was anxious. “I want autumn vibes and I want it now”, I thought.

Isn’t that just like us humans. We want progress on our timeline; we want the feeling, the look, the atmosphere now! We don’t want to wait for it.

Yet, there are many reasons why change doesn’t happen how we want it when we want it.

I’ve read that late spring and dry summer had an impact on the timing of the changing leaves. In addition, the lack of rain delayed the changing of leaves from green to warm colors. One step can’t happen without the other.

There have been many events in my life I wanted to get to the end. But I know I couldn’t just jump to where I wanted to be; I needed to go through the process.

One time in my life I wanted to just to the end was when my father passed. I remember hating the process of planning a service and not wanting to spend time listening to people (some, not all) offer me shallow textbook words of comfort as I stood with my siblings beside my father’s casket.  Since I was with him when he passed, I thought that was all I needed. I know it sounds selfish and I was shocked I felt that way as a woman of faith.

Yet, the day of his funeral the outpouring of love we felt- from the many employees from the Ford family where he worked, to former co-workers of mine to neighborhood friends and family - filled my heart. I understood the “why”. Services to say goodbye to our loved ones are a part of a grieving process, a time of healing for those experiencing the loss.  It is part of the process.

In many ways, I was changed after that life event, and I am grateful for the process. Without the events that happened between dad’s passing and burial, I’m not sure the change I experienced would have happened.

Two weeks after that disappointing fall day in early October, I went for a walk again in the neighborhood. As I was looking down at my phone to select a podcast to listen to. I grumbled to myself again about the change I didn’t see in the trees. Then I looked up, in front of me was a full, beautiful tree adorned with reddish-orange leaves with a pile of leaves surrounding its base. I smiled. As I kept looking, more and more fall foliage was in front of me.

Sometimes when we’re distracted, change happens. While we’re waiting, we become impatient, but the beauty unfolds not when we want it but when we are ready to receive it.  Let’s us remember to see the beauty and give thanks for the process.