Moving From Home
Moving away from home has its challenges. Before entering our third year of marriage, my husband was assigned to an appointment in Columbus, Ohio from Cincinnati, Ohio. As an itinerant pastor in the United Methodist Church, he was accustomed to this. I was not. This would be my first move outside of Cincinnati, where I was born and raised.
I was part anxious, yet excited for a new opportunity and change of pace. My family seemed okay with my move, but there were some feelings of loss with that change. At our last Sunday of worship, family and friends shed tears of happiness, loss and joy.
Prior to this move, I had become bored in my career and wanted to change it up, but there were no opportunities beyond my current position. With that in mind, this new appointment was my excuse to get out of that situation. I would never have chosen to leave this job on my own. It was too comfortable.
Within four weeks of notice, we found a place to stay. We downsized a four- bedroom house to a two bedroom “luxury” apartment. The physical part of moving and the timing of it all was the most stressful for me. Packing had all my attention and kept me from enjoying anything else. This process became annoying when I considered the labor invested in packing boxes just to unpack them two hours away. Although it was necessary, it just didn’t make sense to me and overwhelmed me.
There remains the possibility of moving again. Anxiety is likely to return. When that day comes, I must remember to recall into my memory, gems I’ve learned about life, myself, and God.
Lesson #1 – God is Faithful!
God has a plan and does not need our help to implement. Leaving my career reduced our household income by 30%. When you don’t have money coming in, independently, it can be all you think about. That was me. I felt a lack of control which led to fear. In my conversations with God, He revealed my contributions to our home were beyond financial. I was to provide support in ways that created a successful transition in my husband’s new ministry. I was concerned if I would make friends in this new city, if I could find people I could let my hair down with. Not only did I find friends, I found a community of people. I joined a Zumba Studio to get exercise and found a community of women who welcomed me as though I was part of them for years. God was faithful to me and He is always looking for faithful people. If I am a woman of faith, what am I saying about God when I worry?
Lesson #2- It’s Ok to take a break from the grind.
When I came to terms with not working outside the home and being a homemaker, there was guilt lurking around the corner. I have worked all my life and the concern for what others thought began to creep into my life. Don’t get me wrong. I was not sitting around eating Cheetos on the couch. I was called in this season to provide much more. I transitioned quickly into a homemaker (Thank you Mom): keeping the home clean, cooking two meals a day, laundry, getting our finances clear, meeting church members for lunch or coffee to get to know them-- this was my contribution. No amount can be written on a price tag to account for the value of the work I put in at that time, and I found I liked it.
Lesson #3 – Enjoy the Experience being away from home and family
I love going home and being in the house where I grew up in. I equally love the home and life I am building with my husband. Moving away I was excited! I was only going to be less than two hours away which made a drive home manageable. I drove two hours to make sales calls all the time when I worked in the convention industry. Over time our home became comfortable, and we liked it. We got to know new friends, explored the city, and connected with each other. In this enjoyment, my visits to see family became less frequent. Our marriage hit a sweet spot and our connection grew stronger. We had each other and relied on each other in this new season. Our lives became full and we had to make choices on when to visit families; his in South Carolina, with Children in Cleveland and my family in Cincinnati. Sometimes we’d make our visits together, sometimes we’d roll solo. We can enjoy our families separate from each other and that is OK. With family located in multiple cities, we committed to Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas as must visit times; those have shifted with the loss of parents. Summer BBQ’s, which are big in my family, may vary. There have been times our families were not happy with our decisions on our visits. Yet deep down, the love is shown in abundance in the time we share together.
I have many friends that have lived away from home by going to college in another city or even joining the Armed Forces. My experience just happened a little later in life. It provided a richness to my journey I would not change!
