Creating A Home Where there Is None

Creating a Home Where There is None

I hate moving.

In 10 years, I have moved to a new residence four times. Half of those moves are thanks to the itinerant system of the United Methodist Church.

Moving as we change church appointments is hard most times. I made it through with the support of clergy spouses who helped me to remain focused on the positive. I am also grateful to family who helped with physical labor when I had none to give.

Arriving at a new place with boxes waiting to be opened, made me angry and sad. Rarely did each new residence feel like home to me.

This feeling was the worst part of moving.

I love ministry and the work of the United Methodist Church. I take pride in the reach the church has, doing good across the globe.

When unpacking, I always start with kitchen items; the location of wine glasses and coffee cups is imperative. I’ve learned to put these items in the same box and mark it, “open first.” This box is as important as medications.

Before moving into our new residence, we walk through the space to see what needs to be addressed by the landlord, or in our case by the trustees. While doing this process, I try to locate a space for just me -- a space for me to pray, create, and feel grounded. I may not see it right away, but I keep looking.

A few years ago, I listened to a podcast with Chrystal Evans Hurst featuring a guest discussing the importance of creating a home in any place of residence. She said, “Create a space to recalibrate and get grounded.”  The guest speaker lived a life that required moving more than my husband and me. Her theory made sense to me.

Recently we moved from a home I loved, to a home I hated. The new residence felt cold, distant, and unfamiliar, even after a year. Because I didn’t like it, I didn’t invite friends or family to it. Once I had designated a room as “mine,” I began to feel better, like I belonged. This little corner of our home is where I retreat to decompress. It is a space that has pens, paper, a candle, sewing machine, and pictures. Since the pandemic, it has transformed more into an office.

As my husband is getting closer to retirement, we will likely have only one more move. For me to live with the disruption of life that comes with creating a space all my own, I will have to focus on what I need to settle into a “homey” environment.  Once I am settled, I will be able to spread the vibe of “home” throughout the house to share with my family and others.