Losing a Friend

Marnita and I

Losing a Friend

Grieving the loss of a friend, for some can feel different from grieving the loss of a blood relative. I felt it a few years ago.

Marnita was a friend, but I never told her that. I cared for her and was frustrated by her. Although we disagreed on many things, we could agree on what was funny. We laughed together like nobody’s business.

Marnita and I met at our place of business. Her background was in foster care and I loved hearing her talk about the children she met through the social work field.  She loved her dog and always had a story about him. Although I didn’t own any pets and could care less about her dog stories, she kept telling them LOL! We spent many hours chatting about everything. We went out to lunch at least three times a week. We laughed a lot!

I remember the day my sister called me at work about my Dad’s stage four cancer diagnosis. Marnita was the second person I called after failing to reach my husband. Even though she was not available when I called her, I could not wait to share with her this news and to cry with her. After losing her mom to cancer many years before we met, I knew she would understand.

The evening I found out she was hospitalized after having a stroke, I went to the hospital to see her with my husband. I was not prepared to find a lifeless body on life support. After all, it was Tuesday and we had just talked on Friday.

Daily, I encouraged Marnita on her journey to turn around the ailments that had begun to plague her body. I conned her into walking across the parking lot with me and reminded her to have one green vegetable a day. I know I was tough some days, but I knew she responded to that language. She seemed to be feeling better and getting her mind set for change.

There were many days I missed her. Today, I remember the fun times and laugh out loud as I transport myself to those happy times.

I will see Marnita again. I know she is happy and having a wonderful time with her mother, who she missed so much.

Many of us will continue to question the timing of losing friends. We will continue to ask questions – Why could he/she not be healed? What is healing in our human understanding? What is God’s divine healing?

One thing for sure, we were all born, and we will all die. What is important is in the meantime, how we live this precious gift of life we have been privileged to behold.

Marnita passed away in 2016. She would have celebrated her birthday this month.