I Feel You

i feel you

This post was written before the confirmation of Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson to the U.S Supreme Court making history as the first black female Supreme Court Justice.

It was not easy to watch the confirmation hearings for Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson.

Inhale. Exhale. Pause. Answer calmly.

This was my silent mantra as I watched this historic event on CNN in my living room. I told myself, “I’m not going to watch this mess.” Yet, I couldn’t change the channel. I felt a slight obligation to watch, as though Judge Jackson would feel my support of her through this arduous process. I don’t know why. She didn’t know me but, I knew her.

Judge Jackson is President Joe Biden’s nominee for Supreme Court Judge. If confirmed, she will be the first black female Supreme Court Justice.

I’ve seen this movie before. A 50-year-old educated black woman, qualified for a job, questioned about her abilities, taking insults, all while thoroughly responding to every question.

As she was questioned by a senator from a southern state, my heart raced as I anticipated that he would address her as, “gal” at any moment of his inquisition. I’m thankful he didn’t. Nonetheless, I imagined it happening.

Inhale. Exhale. Pause. Answer calmly.

I believe many black women have used this mantra. When our intelligence and character is challenged, it is best to have a mantra to prevent the words we’d like to say from escaping our lips.

Deep Breath.

Black women have experienced various scenarios of challenges as we go about our daily lives.

For instance, when a client meets you face to face and decides she doesn’t feel comfortable working with you, she shares with your boss she’d prefer your counterpart with no real explanation. Your counterpart happens to be white and someone you trained.

Inhale. Exhale.

When one of your white students cries to your colleague that you were mean because you held her accountable to the syllabus. She missed an assignment and accused you of adding the assignment after she received her copy. Although that didn’t happen, you suddenly were the scary professor who never liked the student since the beginning of the semester.

Inhale. Exhale.

When a client won’t sign a contractual agreement until he meets with your supervisor to make sure the contract is fair. Your supervisor is a white male over 60. Same demographic as the client.

Inhale. Exhale.

In the face of subtle comments, insults, glares, and lack of respect, black women have risen above it all.

We have fought to make our mark in history and not just sat in the corner. God did not call us to be quiet in the corner.

During slavery we were separated from our families, raped, beaten, and created into property for someone else’s pleasure. We were dismissed from participating in the women’s suffrage movement and shunned from our place in leadership in the Civil Rights Movement.

History has dealt us a bum hand in the card game of life. We have taken the hand and played the competitive game. In the end we have risen to the occasion, going above and beyond anyone’s expectation or imagination.

THAT my friends, is the magic of a black woman.

So, I see you, Judge Jackson and I stand with you.

As the committee commanded you to recite the alphabet backwards, hop on one leg, chew gum, be a wife, be a mother, be a judge, a biologist and more, while in heels, we see you.

Judge Jackson, Thank you!