Living with Hope while surrounded by Grief

These last few months have been hard. The lingering winter temperatures with the tease of a spring day messes with my emotions. 

Five people I know have passed away and were directly or indirectly connected to me. Of the deceased, three of them were under the age of 60. I also know people living with health concerns that have a less than hopeful prognosis. 

The impact of losing 1 million people globally to the COVID-19 virus combined with the lingering winter weather and the sickness I hear about, planted the seed for the heaviness I’ve felt in these recent weeks. 

The reality of the frailty of life has come into focus more and more. When I hear of someone dealing with the loss of a loved one, it triggers emotions I felt in 2016 when I lost my Dad.

While attending a training led by the Episcopal Leader of the Ohio West Area of the United Methodist Church, I learned grief is a noun and not a feeling. In the training, Laura van Denoot Lipsky, author of Age of Overwhelm, reminded me to articulate the feelings I was having caused by grief and to work through them.

As I listened to the featured speaker teach in the Zoom training, I began to write words to describe my feelings. These are a few:

·        Sad 

·        Angry 

·        Confused 

·        Disappointed 

·        Helpless 

·        Afraid 

·        Anxious

I don’t have these feelings all the time but some days, I do. 

As a Christian, if I claim to live with hope, how do I move from these feelings to happiness while honoring both emotions?

The answer isn’t easy, if there is one.

Over the years I have learned tools to help me cope when I am in these situations: Reframing, prayer, dance, listening to music, writing, and exercise, are a few. These activities help me to navigate out of the dark and into the light. Hope lives in the light, yearning to be discovered.

When I eventually connect with someone who is still in darkness, I get anxious. I don’t know what to do or can’t find the words to help. If I’m not careful, I will find myself back in a dark space with them. Sometimes I try to offer words of hope. These situations are the most challenging.

Grief is hard and everyone handles it differently. Some require a longer time period than others to come through it. Whether it is the loss of life, a marriage, a job, COVID restrictions, or loss of a home, grief hurts and is hard.

In previous posts, I have shared how I move from a dark space to the light. 

As I look forward to the warmer days of spring, I am reminded of a tagline for a cancer center advertisement: Keep Making Plans.

I look forward to putting work into a dream to make it a reality. I feel the life-giving energy the project is giving me, calling me to reach out to meet new people to help me chart a course to the finish line. In this moment, I give thanks.

Living with hope while navigating the residuals of grief is not easy. It is work. Give yourself grace. Find a confidant who will help you and not judge you for their own selfish gain. That person is out there.

There is hope.